Thursday, August 14, 2014

Montana Fly Fishing Traffic Report- say hello to the latest invasive species, the Innertubulas Idioticus.

Traffic on the morning commute-Somewhere near Ovando, MT

When the great floods last came, the humans divided into two groups; half ran to high ground to escape the terrifying water. The other half grabbed the urinary bladders of stegosaurus' that they had fed upon and floated away upon the biblical waters. As time went on (over millions of years) the dry-land humans continued to evolve. The bladder-folks continued on their path toward stupidity and lemming-like selectivity. At this point in human evolution there was a massive split in the progress of man. Advance one million years, and you will find a sunday afternoon on the Blackfoot river.  These hominids can be seen today on any warm afternoon on the Blackfoot River near Missoula, MT. There is no Earthly reason why they haven't been picked off by tigers, vultures and hamsters.  They aren't smart, but they are lucky!  We have deduced that they stay afloat not by their inner-tube devices, but rather by the air in their heads. What a discovery!!! If you see them loafing lazily in the sun, consider this a tremendous occasion. It's like seeing a beer can on the road. You should probably youtube it.  They're a dime a dozen. Please report these other "humans" to your local MTFWP officer. Chances are good that they can be found following a steady stream of Subaru Outbacks and/or Honda CRvs. with inner-tubes, strapped lazily atop their parents' last car.   They might even be littering, or copulating in the bushes. God help us!

   Seriously MTFWP, why don't these knuckleheads need PFDs in their "boats"? Oh, and why don't the suppliers need a SRP for the outfitting of these folks?  Never an answer. Never.
Hey, at least we tried, eh?

In the end, there will be cockroaches and "toobers". They will survive and multiply, given enough White Claw and poorly inflated swan toobs. Someday Montana FWP will hold the public to some account for their toll on our Montana rivers. Until then, I will continue to rant about the devastating effects that "toobers" have on our collective world. "Toobing" should rank right up there with murder and tax evasion!
Thank you Michelin, latex, and the obvious lack of condoms somewhere in the 80's. Here they are. And here they will stay. 

No comments:

Post a Comment